The Book of Hinderaker

In my last post, I wrote:

No amount of evidence (or lack of evidence) will ever convince [conservatives] they were wrong about Iraq. No civilian body count will ever convince them that it was wrong to overthrow a horrible, but stable, dictatorship that was not a threat to us. No level of abuse by US soldiers at Abu Ghraib, Bagran, or Guantanamo will ever convince them that we have lost the moral high ground. No recruiting failure will ever convince them that this war has lost its support. No terrorist attack anywhere in the world will be seen as a failure to combat Al Qaeda. No future civil war or theocratic regime in Iraq will ever be blamed on Bush's failed policy.

I owe this formulation to Legal Fiction's mind-blowingly hilarious parody, The Book of Hinderaker. A small sample:

And Bush said to Democratic Satan, “Have you seen my servant Hinderaker? There is none like him on earth – as Time Magazine astutely noted. He is a perfect and upright man, one that followeth Bush and escheweth Democratic evil.”

Democratic Satan answered Bush, “Of course he follows you. Why wouldn’t he? You just led a successful war in Iraq in name of fighting terrorism. He is merely supporting his country and his military – not you personally. I bet if the news got worse about Iraq, and if he thought you screwed things ups, he would curse you to your face.”

“No, no,” replied Bush, “he will stay with me through thick and thin. And I’ll prove it. I have so much confidence in my servant that I’ll grant you, Democratic Satan, the power to change any news about Iraq that you like. Whatever you want to do, you can do. And regardless of what you do, my good and loyal servant will remain faithful.”