Bachman requests a letter and I oblige

Michele Bachmann has stopped trying to french kiss the president long enough to cram her own foot down her throat. Our new congresswoman is feeling ree-wee, ree-wee bad. She wants us all to write good letters about her to the mean newspapers.

Here's mine:

Dear Editor:

My congresswoman, Michele Bachman, wrote me a letter asking me to write you a postive letter (Even though it might not be legal for her to use government money to ask me to do this). I guess, she wants me to emphasize certain charactersitics about her that she thinks cast her in a positive light. I live to serve, so here goes:

Congresswoman Bachmann has 5 kids of her own and 23 foster kids. There is nothing to say about that but WOW! She also hears Jesus in her head, and is totally subservient to her husband. That is so reassuring, especially when all the religions are getting along so well. Who wants an independent thinker in office? Land-0-goshen no! When I cast my vote for a female candidate, I want to make sure that I am really casting it for her husband. Lord knows, women! HA!

And I love, no, LOVE, the fact that she doesn't "play politics with the war on terrorism" like when she claimed to have special, insidery knowledge of Iran's plan to slice up the Iraq cake. That was so special, so smart. I mean, if she has special knowledge and is giving it away in the public - she is breaking all kinds of laws to get it to John Q. Public. How cool is that? And if she is just making it up, well, who cares about ol nasty-pants Iran?

And can her obsession with gay people be a better qualification for federal office??!! NO! We don't want gay highways, or a gay post office, or gay money, or, oh! Who knows what could turn gay if we didn't have Michele's husband in there fighting the good fight through what Jesus puts in her head.

She's the best,

Chris Dykstra
One of the represented