A Winning Strategy

The fallout continues...

Our new Democratic Party strategy? Well, first off, we need to find a way to become more homophobic than our opponents. Maybe make sodomy a felony... just to show the rednecks how tough we are now. Then we need to start blaming more of our economic problems on immigrants and other non-light-skinned foreigners. We need to cut more taxes, that's for sure, care less about the impoverished because why the fuck should we care about them? They're lazy assholes. Then we need to spend more money on useless Cold War-era military projects. Like a trillion dollar GOP masturbation fantasy of a missle system that doesn't work (and even if it did, it would still be useless). We need to invade other countries without provokation, and do it all while telling the rest of the world to go fuck themselves. If anyone questions us, we'll just say something about 9/11... or maybe rape rooms or something... and then we'll tell them to go fuck themselves, too. We need to divide Christians against other Christians, family member against family member. We need to bring prayer into schools, hang the Ten Commandments in every classroom. Turn this godless state into a budding theocracy of obedience and discipline.

If we can do all this -- all while saving a few fetuses, murdering a Planned Parenthood doctor or two in the process, maybe -- then we will win. And then we will have accomplished all that we have ever wanted: to be winners. That's what this is all about, right? Winning? Not trying to make this country better, standing on principle, standing up for what we believe... believing what we believe because we know in our hearts it's right. It has nothing to do with that. Right?

Right?