Do As They Say, Not As They Do

I'm often confounded by the gulf separating the shiny, happy rhetoric of the Republican party ("the Party of fresh ideas and new thinking") and the behavior of most of its constituents. Submitted for your consideration is a survey contrasting the two, excerpting the official 2004 Republican Party Platform (RPP), descriptions of the 2003 Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC) at which Vice President Dick Cheney was the keynote speaker, and various right-wing artifacts.

Our plans focus on ensuring that America remains safe, terrorists are defeated, and democracy flourishes in the world.
-RPP

The Bush administration has told us over and over again that we are fighting for freedom in Iraq, not oil, and not revenge. "Liberate Iraq" signs all over town show popular support for this idea, yet Ann Coulter "jokes" at CPAC, "why not go to war just for oil? We need oil." Freedom-loving Republicans apparently buy I *heart* Halliburton swag (without consideration for the American soldiers being exploited by said company) and flaunt their hypocrisy thusly: Why's our oil under their soil?

When America was struck by terrorists on September 11, 2001, President Bush immediately realized that it was an act of war, not just a crime. Working with Congress, the President drew up plans to take the fight to the enemy, vowing to bring the terrorists to justice, or bring justice to the terrorists.
-RPP

But who (or what) are these terrorists the Republican party is out to battle? Education Secretary Rod Paige called the National Education Association a terrorist organization in February of this year. Just last month Cheney warned that a vote for Kerry might mean a victory for terrorists. The president of Fridley Theatres in Iowa and Nebraska refused to show Fahrenheit 9/11 because he believed the film would "incite terrorism." Cat Stevens? A clear and present danger. And what is the man (or woman) on the street encouraged to think about terrorists?

Bush kills terrorists dead. Terrorists, of course, are cartoonish A-rabs, struck down by Bush's holy lightning bolts (effectively disregarding the efforts of U.S. troops currently in mortal danger).

Terrorists love liberals...would seem to contradict the RPP claim that "we encourage debate on the major issues of our day."

Osama agrees: anyone but Bush. That's right folks, if your neighbor votes Democrat, they probably cheered on September 11. How much more divisive can you get? Amazingly, these right-wing folks like to equate liberals and Democrats with Communists, Nazis and terrorists, while bashing their opponents for demonstrating something they like to call "partisan politics." Something they are clearly guilty of themselves.

We support the President's expansion of America's public diplomacy efforts, including the use of radio and television to broadcast uncensored information and a message of tolerance in Arabic and Persian to tens of millions of people.
-RPP

Tolerance? At Ronald Reagan's funeral, George W. Bush said Reagan "believed that bigotry and prejudice were the worst things a person could be guilty of." These two men are highly revered in the right-wing community, which is sadly rife with the very traits Regan found repugnant. For example:

Islam is a blast. Speaks for itself.

Tolerance is the virtue of a man without convictions. I'm not sure why this quote has taken off with such popularity, when it goes against everything this nation -- and the Republican party -- supposedly stands for.

Hate is easy. Sure, it's fun for right-wingers to spew vitriol at the French, at the big fat white man Michael Moore, at the "crybaby" John Kerry, at gays, at feminists. It's a lot harder to try and accept them, or get along with them. Noble, even, to do so. Instead, these people are said to "hate America." They're compared to Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and al-Zarqawi. They're branded traitors and terrorists by people who claim to stand for unity and freedom.

Every day, we strive to fulfill Lincoln's vision: a country united and free, in which all people are guaranteed equal rights and the opportunity to pursue their dreams.
-RPP

Except feminists:

Ithaca College's Young America's Foundation...advertised a speech by Pat Buchanan's sister Bay with signs saying, "Feminazis beware: Your Nuremberg has come."
-CPAC

Environmentalists (or "eco-terrorists"; a panel at this convention was titled "Myths, Lies & Terror: The Growing Threat Of Radical Environmentalism):

Floyd Brown of the Young America's Foundation announced, "A lot of people who used to claim their color was red now claim their color is green."
-CPAC

Certainly not Africans, the AIDS-afflicted, or women in politics:

Tim Weigel, who was manning the Free Republic booth, described compassionate conservative initiatives like Bush's plan to address AIDS in Africa as, "throwaways, put out there to keep the left quiet while he takes care of Iraq." Behind him hung a picture of Hillary Clinton's head Photoshopped onto the body of a pig.
-CPAC

And most of all, not the dreaded gays:

Rev. Lou Sheldon, the founder of the Traditional Values Coalition and sworn enemy of homosexuality, put it best. Asked if Bush was in sync with his agenda, he replied, "George Bush is our agenda!" The man who has pledged "open warfare" against all things gay, stood in the exhibitors hall before a makeshift carnival game called "Tip a Troll," in which players were invited to throw gray beanbags at toy trolls with the heads of Osama bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, Hillary Clinton and Tom Daschle, or trolls holding signs saying, "The Homosexual Agenda," "Roe V. Wade" and "The Liberal Media."
-CPAC

Five out of the past seven Christian Coalition action alerts were focused on stopping gay marriage. The self-described "pro-family" organization lists their number-one goal as "strengthening the family" in addition to "defending the institution of marriage." From what? From having to co-exist with more married people? Is marriage an elite club now? On this point I have to cede to P.J. O'Rourke, not one I would normally agree with, but he has a certain logic from the conservative point of view:

I'm so conservative that I approve of San Francisco City Hall marriages, adoption by same-sex couples, and New Hampshire's recently ordained Episcopal bishop. Gays want to get married, have children, and go to church. Next they'll be advocating school vouchers, boycotting HBO, and voting Republican.
-The Atlantic Monthly, July/August 2004

The Republican Party can boast Abraham Lincoln among its historical ranks, a great man who, incidentally, never was spotted wearing a "Fry Mumia" t-shirt, nor would he (I imagine) have spoken at a conference in which such sentiments were gleefully expressed (thereby legitimizing what otherwise might be written off as a fringe group). Still, the party claims to represent his ideals:

Lincoln's successors have been united by a common purpose – defending freedom at home and promoting it abroad. Today, the Republican Party gathers to renominate a man who carries on the best traditions of our Party by carrying the banner of freedom.
-RPP

Freedom to hate, freedom to wage unprovoked war, and freedom to mislead, it would seem. Do Republicans encourage tolerance or prejudice? Are we fighting wars for Democracy or for oil? Do we need legislation to protect America against terrorists, or to quell the ideological opponents of the current administration? I'm getting mixed messages, here.